There are certain indications that you’re already a mom. First, the mommy pants–you know, the high-waisted pants and tapered legs. Second, the mommy car/van–cars or vans that could fit the whole family plus the yayas and the strollers. Once you step inside the mommy car, you’ll find pillows, toys, remnants of junk food and spilled, dried up catsup or milk. Third, the mommy handbag that could accommodate anything from hairbrush to diapers. These handbags are so versatile, you could carry a dumbbell without it ripping. And of course, the mommy haircut.

The mommy hair screams “mommy” in all angles. Whether you’re sitting down, driving your car, doing groceries or even sleeping, you will definitely distinguish this hair. This cut can be either long or short. In fact, it’s not about the perfect length. But what makes it shout “mommy” without you saying it? There’s no style, no texture, flat color, no oomph. Nothing! Just plain, old, straight haircut with or without bangs. That’s what I have now.

Who do we blame for this? Let’s see. The hairstylist who should make it a point to learn the latest hairstyles, cuts, treatments and color and be responsible enough to educate himself on new tricks of his trade. Do these hairstylists ever heard of point-cutting, texturizing or the wonders of thinning shears?

The Salon owners! These people should not be business owners if they don’t even have the money to spare for training their employees. We live in a fast-paced world and every minute, there’s something being discovered or uncovered. These owners should be made to realize that a business is not just an establishment–dead and imposing. It should be alive and continuously changing. Otherwise, just put up a sari-sari store around the corner of pitimini and kalachuchi sts.

The children. The ever-demanding children that mommies have no time for themselves. How can these cute little people be so time-consuming and adorable at the same time? Oh no, I can’t blame a haircut on kids. It’s just not right. So, next please…

The Mommies. Of course, blame it on mommy who should know better. Mommy who takes care of others, she couldn’t even take care of herself. We live in a new era where style and power co-exist. We can’t afford to be caught dead lining up to pay for grocery looking drab and unfabulous. In these times wherein botox is a staple in every household, a bad haircut is unconceivable. Bad haircut is like a bad boyfriend. It should be eradicated by all means. It’s bad news, it’s stale bread in the morning or cold cup of coffee in Starbucks. It’s FG Arroyo caught again in another scam. It’s literally BAD NEWS!!!! And who likes bad new???

But where do we fit style and fab in our busy schedules? Suggestions pleassseee…

So, mommy haircut anyone?

Yes, please and give me an espresso shot while you’re at it….